How To Be an Exceptional Birth Partner: 3 Essential Tips
When a birthing parent feels truly supported and safe, the results are transformative.
Research consistently shows that comprehensive support leads to:
Improved labor progression
Better postpartum mental health
More positive long-term memories of the birth experience
Supporting a partner during labor can feel intimidating, especially if you're navigating this intense experience for the first time. Even experienced birth partners know that every labor and delivery is unique.
As an experienced doula, I'm excited to share my top 3 tips to help you become the most supportive birth partner possible.
01. Invest in Childbirth Education
Knowledge truly is power when it comes to birth support. Prepare yourself through:
Attending comprehensive childbirth education classes (preferably independent, not hospital-affiliated)
Reading partner-focused birth books
Learning from your doula
By understanding key aspects like the stages of labor, typical progression, medical interventions, and advocacy skills, you'll be better equipped to:
Navigate the natural ebbs and flows of labor
Conserve your energy
Know exactly how to support your partner during challenging moments
02. Master the Art of Supportive Presence: Less Talking, More Being
Labor is an intensely internal experience. Your approach should evolve with each stage:
Early labor
Your partner might alternate between normal conversation and focused breathing
Stay engaged but encourage rest, hydration and light snacks
Active labor
Minimize talking during contractions (30-90 seconds) unless you want to hear a loud SHH or some spicy curse words ;)
Speak only to:
Offer gentle encouragement
Remind them to breathe
Communicate with medical staff
Avoid unnecessary questions or small talk
Allow them to conserve mental and physical energy
03. Understand and Encourage Oxytocin Production
Oxytocin—the "love hormone"—is labor's driving force. The synthetic version of oxytocin is Pitocin, which is considered a medical intervention. Natural ways to stimulate oxytocin include:
Loving touch
Gentle massage
Slow dancing
*Consensual* intimate activities including: kissing, cuddling, nipple stimulation, and sex
Important Caution: If water has broken, avoid penetrative activities to prevent potential infections.
The Power of Radical Presence
Birth is an incredibly vulnerable experience– your partner will deeply feel your energy and need your presence. Key principles:
Stay close and engaged
Avoid checking out on your phone or getting distracted
Be prepared to support without trying to "fix" everything
Recognize that the only way through birth is... through it
Your Journey Matters Too
While your partner is doing the incredible work of birthing a baby, you're also entering a transformative chapter. You both deserve support and guidance!
Ready to dive deeper?
Join our upcoming Yoga and Comfort Measures Workshop or schedule a private consultation to learn:
Specific physical comfort techniques
Connection strategies
Effective communication of birth preferences
Support techniques for various birth scenarios
